17 Ways VoIP Has Helped My Sex Life
Now that the technical, Internet-driven age is in full swing, people are starting to wonder about the long term benefits of relying on computers for maintaining personal relationships and improving communication.
It’s easy to let a quick e-mail or Facebook poke suffice as a Happy Valentine’s Day to your significant other, as sometimes planning out a long date night just takes up too much time and energy. A happy medium that compromises face time with impersonal online communication is VoIP: Voice over Internet Protocol.
If you’re unsure of whether or not to ask out that cute guy on your LinkedIn friends list, try VoIP-ing him first, to give your chemistry a test run. Too busy to stop for a coffee break? Use VoIP to catch up with last weekend’s date while multitasking at the office (just remember to shut the door). If you’re ready to revolutionize your sex life, gear up for these and other great ways that VoIP can help.
- Long distance relationships: Extended business trips, far away grad schools and the military put couples in a frustrating position to decide whether or not to invest their love in a long distance relationship. If you’re loathe to see your sweetie jet off for another semester, suggest that the two of you select a free or low-cost VoIP service to keep the romance alive and cut down on your cell phone minutes.
- Web conferencing: For the busy entrepreneur, VoIP can give your dating and sex life a boost by giving you the opportunity to connect with your special someone while you stay productive at work. If you’d prefer to take an extended, er, lunch break, but have an important meeting to attend later in the afternoon, tell your colleagues that you’re going to have to participate via Web conferencing. Use a strictly voice-to-voice service instead of one with video support so that you can really enjoy yourself.
- Multitasking benefits: VoIP is an ideal tool for the multitasker. Fidgety types might have trouble staying focused on a real date, but VoIP services let you coo into your honey’s headphones while you fold laundry, flip through a magazine and paint your toenails.
- Easier to have a “friends with benefits” relationship: Friends with benefits situations are ideal in the first few days or even weeks of the careless messing around, but someone is always bound to get hurt. If you’re dying to know what your best guy or girl friend is like in the sack but don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings further down the road, consider VoIP a safe compromise. You’ll have the pleasure of getting to know one another a little better but still have the barrier of the computer blocking any intense emotional confessions or breakdowns.
- You don’t have to commit: Commitment phobes rejoice! Keep your “dates” online by registering with a VoIP provider. You won’t have to agonize over whether or not bringing a girl flowers will make her think of marriage or if inviting a guy to hang out with your brother will make him think he’s one of the family. Voice-to-voice is more personal than e-mail, but it’s still safer than face-to-face dating.
- You don’t have to feel bad when it’s time to break it off: No one likes being the bad guy in a relationship, even if you’re dying to get out and start over with someone new. To save yourself from the awkward “I think we should see other people” moment, limit your dating to online voice chats. This method works especially well if you’ve never even seen your partner’s face, because you won’t have to imagine its heartbroken expression after you break the news.
- Forget inhibitions: Struggling against your inhibitions during sex isn’t half so hard when you don’t have to worry about anyone actually seeing you. VoIP relationships give wallflowers the cover they need to open up and experiment the way they’ve always wanted.
- No-frills dating: In a Samantha Jones kind of way, VoIP promotes no-frills, straight-to-the point sex. If you’d rather not waste time with niceties by going out to dinner before getting what you really want, you’ll find that VoIP services allow you to get in and get out…so that you can get on with your day.
- Can (safely) act out the mysterious stranger fantasy: Everyone has a sexual fantasy, but not everyone has the luxury of acting on it. The mysterious stranger fantasy, for example, seems like an enticing idea in your head, but unless you’re about to jump on the weird (but cute) stranger peering at you over the gas pump, you’re probably not daring enough to act out your fantasy in real life. VoIP users, however, can take advantage of the safe, secure online connection that will keep you disease-free.
- More personal than chatting via AIM: Regular chat services like AIM are terrific tools for catching up with friends and family or quickly setting up a meeting for work. When you’re in the mood for something a little spicier, however, all that typing just gets in the way. Give your hands a break and up the personal factor by switching over to a VoIP service when you’re looking for something other than friendship.
- You don’t have to waste time with bad dates: How much time do you think you’ve wasted going on nightmarish, dead-end dates? To save yourself from anymore needless degradation, start weeding through your little black book by VoIP-ing your dates before taking them out in real life. Think of it like lining your dates up for an audition to see who makes the cut. If he or she can’t perform on VoIP, they’re probably not going to be all that exciting in person.
- It’s free: Real-life dating gets expensive, whether you’re the guy or the girl. After splitting the bill and movie ticket prices, buying a new outfit and splurging on the emergency cab ride after a blind date gone bad, you could end up investing more in the worst date of your life than you’ve ever invested in your savings account. Thanks to services like Skype, you don’t have to pay a single cent when you make calls to another user’s computer. Stop wasting your money until you at least get to know the person a little better.
- Hands-free: This smart VoIP feature doesn’t need a whole lot of explaining. It’s a hands-free system that lets you connect with the object of your desire so that you can be more ambulatory elsewhere. You do the math.
- Video capabilities: Skype’s video chat feature lets more daring users introduce face time into their already sexy VoIP experience. This add-on means that VoIP now supports different levels of online dating: just like the various subtleties of setting up a coffee date on Tuesday vs. having dinner on Saturday, the online dating world is also divided up into regular chatting, basic VoIP communications, and finally video-enhanced VoIP. What’s next, real-life dates?
- Mobile, WiFi access equals convenience, spontaneity: Some VoIP providers offer services through cell phones and WiFi connections, so you don’t have to limit your sexual adventures to the time spent in front of your clunky desktop. More flexible services will also give your dating life a boost by encouraging spontaneous online rendezvous and unexpected passion.
- Group chats: The more the merrier! If you’re into speed dating, group dates, swinger’s parties or three-ways, then you’ll be pleased to know that many VoIP providers like Vonage and Skype offer group chat capabilities. Invite several people to participate in a conversation so that you can quickly compare your potential mates and move on to those who deserve your time and interest. Once you’ve selected a tight circle of VoIP acquaintances, group chat your way to a hotter dating life.
- VoIP opens up the dating pool: No cute girls in your city? Sites like Facebook, eHarmony and Match.com encourage members to connect based on geographical location, but if you’re not looking for a serious relationship, stick with VoIP to open up the online dating pool. Certain services offer plans that don’t charge extra for long distance calls or daytime minutes, letting you experiment with smokin’ singles all over the country.